


Reasons Wretched and Divine

by Lgbtimelord



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Based on a Doctor Who scene, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Identity Reveal, Idiots in Love, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 22:16:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19343743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lgbtimelord/pseuds/Lgbtimelord
Summary: Supergirl goes to ask Lena for help, she did not know she would leave as Kara.





	Reasons Wretched and Divine

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a scene from DW s08e11, if you've seen it you'll know which one, the dialogue is very similar.

The coffee in Lena's hand felt like a lifeline. And it wasn't just because she hadn't slept last night, nor because she had had four back to back meetings this morning. It wasn't the fact that she knew she was going to stay up in her office tonight either. It was the fact that Supergirl was standing right in front of her, with watery eyes and shaking hands, asking her (or more like begging her) to help her find Director Danvers, and the cup in her hand seemed like the only thing grounding her.

  
And you see, this would have come as a shook to her a month ago or a week ago, hell, it would have come as a shook to her yesterday morning. But now she knew the truth. She knew the reason Supergirl was so worried wasn't because "the director is very important to the safety of this country" but because she's her sister. Kara's sister. Kara, who's standing right in front of her. Asking for her help. And lying. Still fucking lying.

  
But Supergirl's rambling and she asks herself how did she not notice before, denial truly is a powerful thing, because Kara's right here but she's just wearing her suit with the big and proud S in the middle, and not her usual shirts and cardigans, but she's still Kara. She's still _her_ Kara.

  
Who hugged her when she cried and showed her all the Disney movies because "everyone in this world has to watch them all _at least_ once, Lena" and brings her lunch just because she wants to and she's nice like that and she's Kara and she loves her but the pain in her heart is still there and she doesn't know what to do with it. But Kar-Supergirl is still talking and Lena has no idea what she's been rambling about,only catching words like _dead, wicked, Alex, General_ but not sure what it's all connecting them since she was too lost in thought to listen.

"Supergirl." Lena said making her stop with her ramble and walking, when she started to walk, Lena doesn't know. "I'm not sure what you need my help with here."

"Right, well, Alex got kidnapped by a few of the remaining CADMUS agents we have yet to track down. I'm obviously not blaming you or expecting you to know something!" She added when Lena tensed up. "It's just that, uhh, they've asked for a weapon the DEO took from them so General Haley said no so... I kinda stole it?"

"You stole it?"

"The weapon, yes." She took a tiny circle with blue and green buttons from out of nowhere. Seriously, where did that suit even had pockets?

"That doesn't seem very dangerous."

"It is, actually, and it's alien too. This part here" she pointed to the green button. "It's where you put any kind of material and it takes two atoms of it, then it harness the forces that hold the nucleus together and then uses the energy released when the nucleus slit or merge." She excitedly explained. "We used things similar to this back on Krypton to make holes on the ground using the dirt's atoms."

"So, it's a bomb?" Lena asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh... Yeah, I guess."

"And you're just what exactly? Go into whenever they are and hand them over a bomb?"

"No, of course not. I've already deactivate it but they won't notice. And I need your help because you'll drag Alex out while I talk to them, I know by now that you can handle yourself." Lena smirked at that.

"And do you know where Alex is?"

"Yes! Well, not exactly, this was their message." She took a paper out of her suit (again, where the fuck are the pockets?) and gave it to Lena. The note said _She's at the_ _ _Place of the dead, especially of the wicked dead__ _. Bring what we've asked for and you'll get her alive in return._ "I don't know what that means, and I don't want to ask Brainy because it would put him in a position against his job at helping me and I don't want to do that. And dreamer is great! She is! It's just that... She gets way too excited about fighting guys? And well, you know how it is..."

"Kara, you're rambling again." And just like that it seemed like everything stopped. Kara stopped her pacing and talking and turned around to look at Lena with big and scared eyes. If Lena wasn't expecting that she would have been hurt by that.

"Lena, I-" Kara gulped but the words died in her throat. "How- When- But-" she wasn't able to finish a sentence and if it had happened any other time, Lena would have smiled at how cute Kara looked even if she looked like a fish trying to catch food.

Butshe was definitely not ready to hear the excuses or the reasons. She had a list of reasons why, and they all hurt when she thought about them. And she felt too much like a Luthor when she did it too, it felt too cold, too calculated to guess what was the reason Kara had lied for over three years.

She had put them in order in a scale of pain. 1 was _"She's a Luthor_ " and that one doesn't hurt as much because she's used to it and she can put it in a box and shove it way back into her brain. 2 was _"It's none of her business"_ which, yes it's true, Kara can't go around saying she's Supergirl to everyone she knows. And 3, the one that hurts the most, is _"Kara doesn't trusts her and never will, she only befriend her to keep an eye on her"_ and yes, part of her knows that's Lilian talking in her mind but what if, what if it has all been a lie and the person she loved most in the world just doesn't care. So, no, she was not ready to know the why of the lying.

"Not now, Kara. I didn't mean to say that." She sighed.

"I was going to tell you. I-, When-" she stumbled on her words. Her eyes were watery again, and she wasn't trying to keep the Supergirl posture as much now.

"Lex told me. I was waiting for you to tell me actually."

"Rao, Lena, I swear I was going to tell you. It's just that-"

"Seriously Kara, I don't want to hear it." A tear fell down her cheek and it felt worse than the last time she cried in front of Kara because, right now, she desperately wanted her hug but knew she wouldn't get one and wasn't even sure she would allow Kara to hug her either.

"So what now? What do we do now?" Kara's words were heavy and her voice broke at the end of it, but kept going. "You and me, what happens now? Lena?" She added after she didn't answer for a minute.

"Go to hell." She whispered, she knew Kara would hear her.

"Fair enough." She cried. "Absolutely, fair enough." She said weakly. She took a deep breath and turned to leave but Lena's voice stopped her.

"Kara? Where are you going?" She looked confused. "You've asked me what we're going to do. I told you, we're going to Hell. That's what the poem means, Hell, It's one of my mother's bases." She stood up and faced Kara. "Wherever it is, we're going there. And we're gonna find Alex. And we're going to bring her home." She took a deep breath and left out a small laugh at what she said next. "She had such a extravagant name on it, I always meant to have a look around, see if I can find it. We're going to find her. I promise." She added when she noticed Kara still looked unconvinced.

"You're going to help me?" She muttered, and God, she looked so small and sad Lena just wanted to hug her and pretend as if nothing had happened.

"Why wouldn't I help you?" Lena crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Because of what I did. I lied. I-" Kara started.

"You lied and you betrayed me. You betrayed my trust. You betrayed our friendship. You've betrayed everything I've ever stood for and you've done the one thing I hate the most. You let me down, just like everyone else." The last words were quiet and accompanied by a tear on her cheek. Kara's hand hitched to wiped it from her face, she knew she had no right to do it though. She didn't know where this left them.

  
Had she really screwed up so much she had lost one of the best things she has on this Earth?

"Then why are you helping me?" She begged. "I wouldn't blame you if you don't, Lena, I get it. It's okay if you hate me." She was crying, she knew she was crying, Lena could see she was crying but she didn't care. But Lena's words shook her entire body and her entire heart.

"Why? Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?" She said putting a hands on Kara's cheeks and wiping away her tears. "I love you, Kara. Even if I don't know all of you, I'd like to. And even if you break my heart a million times, I'd still love you." Kara put her hand on one of Lena's and kissed her wrist.

"I love you too." She whispered and knew, in that very moment, that whatever had happened they would work it out, along with whatever might happen next.

Together.

Always.  
  



End file.
